Raising Your Expectations For Yourself

Do you have high expectations of that special man who will be a lifelong partner for you - man who will bring you happiness? In this narrative I suggest happiness is something you generate yourself. And therefore your first task is to raise your expectations for yourself.

Women in particular often find their association expectations unfulfilled. Is this the Spirit of the Age? What do women now expect from their association with that special man? And who settled these expectations upon them in the first place? There are many candidates - and foremost among them are women themselves. Step send mothers, romance novels with feisty heroines, writers of beloved songs, the media - television, magazines, newspapers. But beyond them all is something we need to recognise - something we may call the Spirit of the Age.

Paris Travel Card

Because we live in an individualistic culture of approximately infinite choice, where we aim for personal fulfillment, it naturally follows that women have far greater expectations and love relationships and marriage than possibly they did three or four generations ago.

For example, back in the 1940's and 1950's men and women had very clearly defined roles in marriage. The man worked, brought in money, did jobs nearby the house, mowed the lawn and handled the finances. The women did the housework, brought up the children, cooked, shopped and did the laundry and ironing. Both knew their roles, these were their expectations of each other and they were relatively easy to fulfill.

But now the majority of women want sensitivity, a high quality of communication, a subtle level of responsiveness that men often find hard to fulfill. And so expectations are shattered. What does 'romance' mean anyway? Must it all the time be synonymous with flowers, Valentine cards, chocolates, surprise weekends in Paris? Or is that naturally testimony of the success of advertising campaigns on profit of florists, greetings card manufacturers, confectioners and the voyage industry?

And the point of this narrative is relevant to men too. Although it may seem improbable in this post-modern, supposedly enlightened and rational age, dating agencies confirm that many still do set their expectations of a prospective life partner by fairy tale scenarios, Hollywood movie-type ways of life working itself out and what constitutes "being in the right place at the right time". Real life is different. You can meet the right man in the wrong place and the wrong time.

How can I be real with myself then? you may ask. By first accepting that nobody else will turn your life nearby and make you happy. We all need to realise who we are first. When you have done that, then you can start thinking about how man else can add to your happiness: that is, the happiness you have already by being positive, optimistic and open-minded. Then you can start to look for man of the same level. Happiness is a constant dynamic, on a lifelong continuum, in perpetual motion. It isn't a case of Cinderella having that glass slipper occasion and then excellent happiness follows and lasts forever.

Happiness will only find the room to move and grow in its own element, I suggest, when we have reached a point where all those false expectations have been stripped away. Unrealistic expectations are the enemy of happiness. Happiness can break out at the very occasion where we just say, 'I am as I am, and you are as you are, and here we are together.'

Raising Your Expectations For Yourself

Do you have high expectations of that special man who will be a lifelong partner for you - man who will bring you happiness? In this narrative I suggest happiness is something you generate yourself. And therefore your first task is to raise your expectations for yourself.

Women in particular often find their association expectations unfulfilled. Is this the Spirit of the Age? What do women now expect from their association with that special man? And who settled these expectations upon them in the first place? There are many candidates - and foremost among them are women themselves. Step send mothers, romance novels with feisty heroines, writers of beloved songs, the media - television, magazines, newspapers. But beyond them all is something we need to recognise - something we may call the Spirit of the Age.

Paris Travel Card

Because we live in an individualistic culture of approximately infinite choice, where we aim for personal fulfillment, it naturally follows that women have far greater expectations and love relationships and marriage than possibly they did three or four generations ago.

For example, back in the 1940's and 1950's men and women had very clearly defined roles in marriage. The man worked, brought in money, did jobs nearby the house, mowed the lawn and handled the finances. The women did the housework, brought up the children, cooked, shopped and did the laundry and ironing. Both knew their roles, these were their expectations of each other and they were relatively easy to fulfill.

But now the majority of women want sensitivity, a high quality of communication, a subtle level of responsiveness that men often find hard to fulfill. And so expectations are shattered. What does 'romance' mean anyway? Must it all the time be synonymous with flowers, Valentine cards, chocolates, surprise weekends in Paris? Or is that naturally testimony of the success of advertising campaigns on profit of florists, greetings card manufacturers, confectioners and the voyage industry?

And the point of this narrative is relevant to men too. Although it may seem improbable in this post-modern, supposedly enlightened and rational age, dating agencies confirm that many still do set their expectations of a prospective life partner by fairy tale scenarios, Hollywood movie-type ways of life working itself out and what constitutes "being in the right place at the right time". Real life is different. You can meet the right man in the wrong place and the wrong time.

How can I be real with myself then? you may ask. By first accepting that nobody else will turn your life nearby and make you happy. We all need to realise who we are first. When you have done that, then you can start thinking about how man else can add to your happiness: that is, the happiness you have already by being positive, optimistic and open-minded. Then you can start to look for man of the same level. Happiness is a constant dynamic, on a lifelong continuum, in perpetual motion. It isn't a case of Cinderella having that glass slipper occasion and then excellent happiness follows and lasts forever.

Happiness will only find the room to move and grow in its own element, I suggest, when we have reached a point where all those false expectations have been stripped away. Unrealistic expectations are the enemy of happiness. Happiness can break out at the very occasion where we just say, 'I am as I am, and you are as you are, and here we are together.'

Raising Your Expectations For Yourself